Posts

How to Get Better at Reading People

"Reading" people is one of the most important, and vastly underrated, skills we can possess. I'll operationally define "reading" as the process of understanding why people believe, think, and behave the way they do. The better you get at reading people, the easier it becomes to navigate our social world. Honing this one skill will make you 
Pretty much all of my own personal success can be directly attributed to this skill. Aside from my better-than-average skill at understanding human behavior, I'm decidedly average. I'm not especially smart, funny, or athletic. Any "talents" I possess are a function of a lot of hard work, not the result of winning a genetic lottery. Despite all of the apparent limitations, I've been able to do some pretty cool shit in my life like earn multiple degrees, spend over a decade teaching, written books, run ultramarathons, and even fought a pro mma fight. By my count, I've had about fourteen jobs in my li…

"What's the Deal With Jason's Facebook Craziness?!?"

A friend recently asked me about my activities on social media in general and Facebook in particular. Specifically, he asked me why I post and comment in the way that I do. If you're unfamiliar, he described it as "schizophrenic." [note - it's actually more "dissociative identity disorder-ish, but that's neither here nor there] Basically my activity falls into one of about four categories:
"Normal" posts about my family or daily lifePosts intended to inspire or pay tribute to people or institutions I respectThings that amuse me in some wayPosts that are intended to learn about human behavior The first three are pretty standard, but the last one is what results in the "what the fuck is wrong with you???" sentiment I get from people that don't actually know me well in real life. These types of activities usually involve posting about a news story or issue, then inciting debate and arguments. I rarely if ever voice my true opinion. Inste…

Defriending Your Annoying Facebook Friends Makes You a Horrible Person

Earlier today, my friend Tina Plantamura posted a Huffington Post article she wrote about defriending on Facebook. The article was supposed to be humorous, but quite a few people apparently didn't get the joke. The article caused me to reflect on my own friending/ defriending behaviors, which are a little bit unique. 
Over the years, I've developed a Facebook policy that prevents me from defriending people. No matter what annoying, offensive, disturbing or boring stuff they post, I keep them around. It's worth noting: I treat Facebook sort of like I treat teaching. It's a stage. The role I assume isn't the person I really am, though my Facebook persona is made up of elements of my personality. Often, I post thoughts and opinions that are the polar opposite of what I really believe in order to stimulate discussion. That slight dissociation allows me to more easily carry out the "no defriending" policy. Here's five reasons why I developed the policy:
It…

You're Fat Because You're Bad at Counting

A few years back, I wrote a BRU post (and cheeky, snarky "book") about the concept of calories in/ calories out as a means of losing weight. Since that time, I've experienced a steady stream of people, in real life or via social media, that have asked me about weight loss. My response is usually the same: 
Eat less and move more.
The typical response is usually either a) "I already tried that and it didn't work", or b) "I read (or saw a YouTube video) that refuted the idea. A new post by NPR more or less sums up my response to those responses, which is basically something along the lines of "You're just really bad at math."
Here's the deal. Weight manipulation is relatively straight-forward assuming you don't have a disease that alters metabolism. Even then, the basic principle still applies. 
If you want to lose weight, you need to create a caloric deficit.
If you want to gain weight, you need to create a caloric surplus.
That'…

Ninety Percent Off Jason's Newest Book!

Great news! I'm teaming with Amazon to offer the Kindle ebook version of my new sex and relationship book "No Bone Zone" for 90% off! The original price is $9.69; the sale price is only $0.99. This special price is only available until Monday (1/19/2015) morning so act now!
Here's the link:
http://amzn.to/1sKYMdB
If you've already read the book, I'd appreciate a review on the Amazon page.
Thanks!
-Jason

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New Sex and Relationship Book Release: No-Bone Zone

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I'm excited to announce the release of my latest book, No-Bone Zone: The Ins and Outs of Curing Long-Term Relationship Boredom. This book has been in conceptual development since my days as an undergraduate psychology student studying to be a human sexuality researcher, but became a realized dream about six months ago. Like The Barefoot Running Book, Never Wipe Your Ass with a Squirrel, Must Have Been Another Earthquake, Kids (a book about full-time RV living with children), and The Ultimate Guide to Trail Running and Ultramarathons (which was released about a month ago,) No-Bone Zone takes the idea of creative self-experimentation with unorthodox ideas and utilizes it to make our sex and relationship adventures more interesting, exciting, and fulfilling. 
Here's the official description:
So you and your significant other used to go at it like rabbits, but now your sex life has cooled off and you have entered the dreaded No-Bone Zone. How do you fix your mismatched sex drives …

Don't Like the World? Change It.

I've been involved in a few Facebook discussions over the last few weeks, which isn't necessarily news-worthy. After all, it's kind of my social media MO. However, I have noticed a particularly annoying trend: 
Lots of people seem to be passionate (or fixated) on or about one particular issue, yet really do nothing to improve the issue or situation.
Back when I was a teacher, one of my goals was to teach the idea that any one of us has the power to make a dent in the universe. I've continued to operate under that belief since traveling the country and eventually settling down in San Diego. It always seemed like a fairly straight-forward concept, but far too many people, for a wide variety of reasons, choose to merely complain about the status quo.
That's bullshit.
Here are a few of the more common excuses I hear:

"I don't have time.""I don't have a degree.""I have children.""The 'man' is holding me down.""…